Witness

You will report on what you have seen.

Of the world, you will see more than you want to see, know more than you want to know.

You will want to forget more than you do, and way more than you can.

You will quote others about what they see and what they know and how they feel.

That will feel safer, a refuge from seeing and knowing and feeling.

You will confront chaos and suffering, maybe live with abandon.

Then one day you will see a child do something funny and you will laugh.

The child may be a war orphan, or a frail figure standing in the food line at a refugee camp.

Maybe that child will smile when you laugh.

Hold on to that moment. Relive it at night when you can’t sleep.

Allow yourself a fantasy here and there. Escape is good, at times.

When you feel at peace, look around. Go there again and again.

You will steel yourself.

You won’t cry when there are reasons to cry.

You might cry, alone, for no reason.

Edges will blur.

You will not always be able to distinguish good from bad.

Or right from wrong.

That’s okay.

Yesterday’s villain can transform into today’s victim.

And victims evolve into heroes. Sometimes.

Colors will sharpen in time, even though you might not believe that now.

About believing, well, I can’t help you with that one.

How will you feel about what you see?

Will it change what you believe?

I don’t know.